We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Dignity is for republicans.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize