I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
