He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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