got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
