You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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