he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
