Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
