We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
