So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
