idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
