JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
