If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
