hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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