problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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