P.S. I can't hear my feet
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Sober January is a disaster.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
