I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
