dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
