You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
