i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
