saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
