The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
