she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
