There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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