Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
vagina is talking i cant
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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