I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
dude i'm inner monologue high
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
