I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
