just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
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