dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
