Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
