My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.Â
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm having to shit out rocks
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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