hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
kristin has been a bad kristin
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
