Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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