Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
