He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
