you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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