please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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