im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
where are my eyebrows?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
