Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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