Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
