he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
