I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Are we still banned from the library?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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