R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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