...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
