what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
so let's talk penis.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
