She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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