a queef is a wish your heart makes.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Randomize
