My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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