Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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