There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
