Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
