i always forget guys have bellybuttons
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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