Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
